Only about twenty more minutes until we ring in Seis de Mayo! Hope you bought plenty of fireworks! Got me some Roman candles and m-80’s babyyyyy! And sparklers! The colored kind! What would Five of May be without them? What are your Seis de Mayo resolutions?

What does the average person who doesn’t drink do on Cinco de Mayo? Just wondering. My plan is to eat dinner and then run. Maybe knock back a few Root Beers and go to the bathroom 72 times just for old times’ sake.

Has anyone actually bought a Snuggie? For only $19.95 you can have a blanket that “keeps you totally warm and gives you the freedom to use your hands. Work the remote, use your laptop or do some reading in total warmth and comfort!” This, according to the Snuggie website. They also say it’s perfect for men and women.

We’ve all seen the commercial. The lady sitting on the couch with a blanket watching a movie but struggling to answer her phone because her hands are “trapped”(again, from the commercial)under the blanket. If she somehow manages to free her hands from under the blanket she then risks exposure to the elements. Who can be expected to tolerate extreme temperatures of 67 degrees for 15 seconds while they tell Aunt Bunny that they are watching Twilight? That’s frostbite city for sure! Maybe someone should share the miracle of central heating with her or at least buy her one of those Amish heaters.

In all seriousness, I get it. The Snuggie is, in reality, a pretty good idea. But let’s all be honest for a moment here. Who is actually going to wear their Snuggie at a football game? I don’t think I would. What it looks like to me on the commercial is that a family of four Franciscan Monks decided to get out of the monastery for a little while on a Friday night and take in a football game. Great for the sofa and a movie or maybe as a costume if you are playing the part of Friar Tuck in Robin Hood. A football game? Not so much.

I have a feeling that if I showed up at a football game and proceeded to break out the old Snuggie that my friends would wonder when I started drinking again and what made me think it was a good idea to come to the game wearing my wife’s bathrobe backward. Because isn’t that really what the Snuggie is? A long, backward bathrobe? It does promise to keep me TOTALLY warm, though.

I’m sure there are a whole bunch of Snuggie lovers out there. Let’s see your creative uses for the incredible Snuggie. Send them to me at wetumpkanews@gmail.com and make me laugh.

Anyway, gotta’ go now. Rented all the Star Wars movies and gotta’ get to watching because I’ve never seen any of them, but that’s another story. Somebody call Aunt Bunny and tell her we’re starting the movie and pass the Doritos. As Ace Ventura would say, “A-a-a-a-a-al-righty-then.”

There will be a parade and BBQ in Slapout this weekend! The parade will line up at Holtville High School at 10 a.m. and will start at 11 a.m.

Food will be served beginning at 11:30 with BBQ plates available for $7.00 and camp stew also for $7.00. Boston Butts will be available for $30.00 but you must contact the Holtville Volunteer Fire Department at 569-2461 or fax your order to them at 569-3682.

HVFD Fire Chief, Brooks Gregg said to tell everyone to “Come on over and get some good grub!” Think I just might!

All proceeds will go to the Holtville Volunteer Fire Department.

I forgot the video was on Facebook. I’ll get it from Beth and put it up ASAP! It is too funny! If you’re friends with Beth Whorton Roberts on Facebook, go ahead and check it out!

If not, it was back in the latter part of the 80’s when the nightclub Brautigan’s would open on Sunday nights just for teens. 99 FM and WCOV would be there and we’d all dance around and stink a lot. But we were cool! If you don’t believe it, just take a look at this video! Thanks, Beth! You rock! This is too funny! I’ll take all you’ve got!

For those of you who know my nephew Lew, pretend the kid in this video with these great moves is him. If you squint your eyes it looks a lot like him. This kid knows how to break it down.

Click the link or copy and paste this address into your browser. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pn9mE-VvOwo

My thoughts on the empty Food World lot…

This may be a sad attempt to further procrastinate writing my rather imminent final paper, but I thought this might get some interest/response.

As many of you know, the Wetumpka Food World went out of business due to Bruno’s crazy business management and recent bankruptcy–leaving a nice, spacious building completely empty.

I questioned whether or not anything would come to Wetumpka and fill this prime real estate…and even though I am skeptical, I would like to put in my thoughts.

While in high school, my friends and I were constantly on the road to Montgomery in hopes of finding something to do. To be quite honest, Wetumpka has slim pickings

So my suggestion: A bowling alley.

The reason I suggest a bowling alley instead of a movie theater is solely because we can already watch/rent movies, which somewhat quenches that thirst, albeit, not fully.

So why not recruit/pray/hope for a business that could provide entertainment for all ages??

Local churches could use it for youth and young adult events…boy and girl scouts could do end of the year parties here and I am sure kids would love bowling birthday parties. And it would be good for date nights, too! I am sure it would do quite nicely.

It could be fun for all ages…I am channeling the Alabama National Fair commercial right now, just so you know where I am coming from:

“People come from miles around,
From the farms and from the town,
Where excitement will be found,
Its the new Wetumpka Bowling Center!”

So, have I convinced anyone to start their own bowling alley business yet?? Please…?