Gimme’ Some Snuggie High Five!

Has anyone actually bought a Snuggie? For only $19.95 you can have a blanket that “keeps you totally warm and gives you the freedom to use your hands. Work the remote, use your laptop or do some reading in total warmth and comfort!” This, according to the Snuggie website. They also say it’s perfect for men and women.

We’ve all seen the commercial. The lady sitting on the couch with a blanket watching a movie but struggling to answer her phone because her hands are “trapped”(again, from the commercial)under the blanket. If she somehow manages to free her hands from under the blanket she then risks exposure to the elements. Who can be expected to tolerate extreme temperatures of 67 degrees for 15 seconds while they tell Aunt Bunny that they are watching Twilight? That’s frostbite city for sure! Maybe someone should share the miracle of central heating with her or at least buy her one of those Amish heaters.

In all seriousness, I get it. The Snuggie is, in reality, a pretty good idea. But let’s all be honest for a moment here. Who is actually going to wear their Snuggie at a football game? I don’t think I would. What it looks like to me on the commercial is that a family of four Franciscan Monks decided to get out of the monastery for a little while on a Friday night and take in a football game. Great for the sofa and a movie or maybe as a costume if you are playing the part of Friar Tuck in Robin Hood. A football game? Not so much.

I have a feeling that if I showed up at a football game and proceeded to break out the old Snuggie that my friends would wonder when I started drinking again and what made me think it was a good idea to come to the game wearing my wife’s bathrobe backward. Because isn’t that really what the Snuggie is? A long, backward bathrobe? It does promise to keep me TOTALLY warm, though.

I’m sure there are a whole bunch of Snuggie lovers out there. Let’s see your creative uses for the incredible Snuggie. Send them to me at wetumpkanews@gmail.com and make me laugh.

Anyway, gotta’ go now. Rented all the Star Wars movies and gotta’ get to watching because I’ve never seen any of them, but that’s another story. Somebody call Aunt Bunny and tell her we’re starting the movie and pass the Doritos. As Ace Ventura would say, “A-a-a-a-a-al-righty-then.”