Barbie’s Bosom-Bearing Brouhaha

I read a news story this morning about a new line of Barbie Dolls that are being released called the “Barbie Basic Collection.” Each of the Barbies in this line is wearing a little black dress. Apparently, one of the Barbies is creating a bit of controversy because she is showing too much cleavage and many people, moms in the story that I read, think it is inappropriate for Barbie to show so much cleavage. They contend that this particular doll was designed to mimic the look of having breast implants. If I may, I’d like to offer a bit of objective commentary on this issue: It’s a doll. The end.

I have a four year old daughter, Gracie, who has numerous Barbies that share her toybox (and floor) with dolls of varying sizes and shapes. Most of them are naked, their clothes usually stripped within minutes of removing them from the packaging. By the way, when did it become necessary for me to have to have a fully-stocked Snap-On tool box just to remove a toy from its packaging? Having to use a pair of wire cutters and a screwdriver just to open a Star Wars Millennium Falcon that Santa Claus brought can really suck the joy right out of a Christmas morning. Trust me on that. Geez Louise! Anyway, take a glance into my daughter’s room and you might think that one of the bad guy G.I. Joe action figures had set off some sort of explosive device which blew the clothes off of all the dolls. The toy pig remains clothed in full princess regalia while the princess lies naked among the carnage. Good thing, I suppose, since princesses tend to be a bit diva-ish and probably don’t take too kindly to their royal clothing being worn by a common farm animal. Go figure. Anyway, I don’t ask questions. It’s not a big deal in my mind if one Barbie had breast implants or another one had liposuction on her thighs along with some lip-fattening toxin injected into her face and it doesn’t appear to be a big deal to Gracie either. They’re toys and she is keenly aware of that. They ride upside down in strollers, have conversations with friends on toy phones, and make death-defying leaps from towel-racks high above the bathtub into mere inches of water. They’ve driven pink Corvettes off of kitchen counters and walked away unscathed. Naked, but unscathed.

With all the problems that exist in the world today…war, terrorism, crime, unemployment, stock market crashes, liberalism (had to throw that in for some of my “progressive” friends)…I have to say that a big-boobed-Barbie ain’t one of ’em! Some may say that this Barbie will cause Gracie to have unrealistic expectations about what women should look like. That if she grows up and doesn’t have the “perfect” body, whatever that is, that it will somehow be because my wife and I were bad parents and let her play with “Implant Barbie.” I don’t buy that. I grew up in a time when every boy had toy guns that looked real. We fought countless wars and had more shootouts than I could ever count. I always had a BB gun close by and even got lucky and shot a few mocking birds over the years. Those games and toys so influenced my life that today, as an adult, I don’t even own a gun. I don’t have a problem with guns at all. I’ve just never really needed one. Not yet. I have been thinking of getting one, though. Times have changed and the world that I knew as a child has become a much more dangerous one. I mean, have you seen a Barbie Doll lately?

Maybe He Could Just Say "Shmadical Shmislam"

Attorney General Eric Holder, speaking at a House Judiciary Committee Meeting last week made himself look foolish…again. There’s nothing particularly unusual about that I suppose, but this time he really got my blood boiling. After stating that the Justice Department is considering a lawsuit to block Arizona’s new immigration law that has drawn so much controversy, Rep. Ted Poe (R-Texas) asked Mr. Holder, “Have you read the Arizona law?” Holder answered, “I have not had a chance. I grant that I have not read it.” Is this not the height of arrogance? For the Attorney General of the United States to threaten to file a lawsuit against a state for a law it passed without having read that law is unfathomable to me. What it says to me is that Mr. Holder thinks that he can say whatever he wants and that the American people will simply defer to him because of his position. This, of course, is in keeping with smug, self-righteous attitude exhibited by practically every member of this current administration and all it’s minions in congress. Especially from the man at the top who, while he can deliver a rousing speech, possesses an ego of epic proportions. Mr. Holder and the rest of the Obama administration never leave campaign mode and seem to be more interested in creating good sound bytes for the masses of reporters who blindly follow them as if they were some modern day pied piper.

In another exchange during the same meeting, this one with Rep. Lamar Smith (R-Texas), Mr. Holder refused to say that radical Islam might have been a contributing factor, if not the sole reason, for the Fort Hood shootings, the attempted Christmas day attack, and the attempted Times Square attack. Tea Party supporters are regularly ridiculed and mocked and spoken of in all manner of derogatory terms and yet Mr. Holder goes to ridiculous lengths to keep from uttering the words “radical Islam.” What is the issue here? The lunatics from the infamous Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas call themselves Christians. If they are, then it is certainly some form of radical Christianity which is not consistent with the teaching of scripture as I understand it. I’m perfectly comfortable saying that as well as calling them fanatical lunatics. Why? BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THEY ARE! I’m not saying that every Muslim is a terrorist who wants to blow up innocent people here in America. I am saying that pretty much every terrorist appears to be a Muslim who practices some form of radical Islam which drives them to kill. That is not racist or discriminatory or intolerant in my view. It is a fact.

I wish that this administration would stop falling all over itself trying to be politically correct and just do something constructive for a change. Stop threatening Arizona and do something to protect the citizens there from the crimes committed by illegal immigrants who easily cross over the apparently porous border. I think that Arizona’s law-abiding citizens are safe to go have an ice cream at the ice cream shop without being shot with a taser or strip searched. Stop going off half-cocked about everything and practice a little common sense for once. You’re embarrassing us for goodness’ sake. Dang (now you’ve made me use a bad word)!

More Stuff That Bugs Me…(Did Not Proofread)

I probably have mentioned some of these before. Oh, well. I’m in that kind of mood. Shall we begin? Let’s!

  • Anyone who parks in a handicapped space who isn’t handicapped. Especially when there are ten empty non-handicapped spaces within thirty feet.
  • People who purposely park in two spaces because their car is so nice they don’t want it to get dinged. I’ve got news for you buddy, I will go out of my way to ding you if I can squeeze into one of the spots next to you. 
  • People who let a door shut in my face and don’t at least give the obligatory “I’d rather be walking away from this door but since I saw you coming  I’m going to awkwardly stretch backward and hold it for you until you touch it” move.
  • People who don’t at least mumble a half-hearted “thank you” when I awkwardly stretch backward to hold the door for them.
  • People who blow their nose in a restaurant. For goodness’ sake, I’m trying to eat here. Can’t you at least go to the restroom to irrigate your sinuses?
  • When I pass someone in a hallway of some sort, like maybe at church or at one of my kids’ schools, and they don’t answer at all when I say hello or good morning. You can tell by looking at the eyes of these people before they ever get to you. They are doing everything they can, including staring at the wall, to keep from acknowledging you in any shape, form, or fashion. I promise I’m not going to hug you. I’m just attempting to exchange pleasantries with you. I am happily married and not looking for a date.
  • I don’t like it when someone comes out of a restroom, this, too, happens a lot at church, and wants to shake my hand. I understand that you washed your hands and probably didn’t even get any on your hands anyway. Still, there needs to be at least an hour grace period before you present your hand to me to touch. I don’t like shaking hands anyway. I think it’s an outdated concept that needs to be done away with. I hold hands with my wife(every now and again) and my kids. That’s enough pda for me(that’s public display of affection for the uninitiated).
  • Loud people in public places. This is another one of the things that just screams, literally and figuratively,  I’M HORRIBLY OBNOXIOUS! If you want to include me in your conversation about your trip to Savannah then you should invite me to sit at your table and pay for my dinner. Otherwise, turn the volume down a few hundred decibels.
  • People who smoke in public places. Inside and outside. Even if smoking is allowed there, you ought to be considerate enough to go off out of the way a bit to practice your smelly, deadly vice. I quit smoking almost fifteen years ago and no longer wish to stink of cigarette smoke(yes, it stinks). I shouldn’t have to walk through a haze of noxious fumes just to get my name on the waiting list at Texas Roadhouse.
  • People who have stinky breath but insist on talking directly into your face.
  • The ball caps with flat brims worn askew on teenage boys heads. Bend it a little and straighten it up. You don’t look cool. Trust me.
  • Liberals, with apologies to my lefty friends.
There will be more I’m sure but I’m putting the soapbox away for now. Thanks for indulging me.

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