I probably have mentioned some of these before. Oh, well. I’m in that kind of mood. Shall we begin? Let’s!
- Anyone who parks in a handicapped space who isn’t handicapped. Especially when there are ten empty non-handicapped spaces within thirty feet.
- People who purposely park in two spaces because their car is so nice they don’t want it to get dinged. I’ve got news for you buddy, I will go out of my way to ding you if I can squeeze into one of the spots next to you.
- People who let a door shut in my face and don’t at least give the obligatory “I’d rather be walking away from this door but since I saw you coming I’m going to awkwardly stretch backward and hold it for you until you touch it” move.
- People who don’t at least mumble a half-hearted “thank you” when I awkwardly stretch backward to hold the door for them.
- People who blow their nose in a restaurant. For goodness’ sake, I’m trying to eat here. Can’t you at least go to the restroom to irrigate your sinuses?
- When I pass someone in a hallway of some sort, like maybe at church or at one of my kids’ schools, and they don’t answer at all when I say hello or good morning. You can tell by looking at the eyes of these people before they ever get to you. They are doing everything they can, including staring at the wall, to keep from acknowledging you in any shape, form, or fashion. I promise I’m not going to hug you. I’m just attempting to exchange pleasantries with you. I am happily married and not looking for a date.
- I don’t like it when someone comes out of a restroom, this, too, happens a lot at church, and wants to shake my hand. I understand that you washed your hands and probably didn’t even get any on your hands anyway. Still, there needs to be at least an hour grace period before you present your hand to me to touch. I don’t like shaking hands anyway. I think it’s an outdated concept that needs to be done away with. I hold hands with my wife(every now and again) and my kids. That’s enough pda for me(that’s public display of affection for the uninitiated).
- Loud people in public places. This is another one of the things that just screams, literally and figuratively, I’M HORRIBLY OBNOXIOUS! If you want to include me in your conversation about your trip to Savannah then you should invite me to sit at your table and pay for my dinner. Otherwise, turn the volume down a few hundred decibels.
- People who smoke in public places. Inside and outside. Even if smoking is allowed there, you ought to be considerate enough to go off out of the way a bit to practice your smelly, deadly vice. I quit smoking almost fifteen years ago and no longer wish to stink of cigarette smoke(yes, it stinks). I shouldn’t have to walk through a haze of noxious fumes just to get my name on the waiting list at Texas Roadhouse.
- People who have stinky breath but insist on talking directly into your face.
- The ball caps with flat brims worn askew on teenage boys heads. Bend it a little and straighten it up. You don’t look cool. Trust me.
- Liberals, with apologies to my lefty friends.
There will be more I’m sure but I’m putting the soapbox away for now. Thanks for indulging me.
The View From We2 
Hey Thad,The list is pretty complete but I think you need to add these:*People who you speak to and look into their eyes and they still don't respond back. Come on people return a greeting. It might make you feel a little less grumpy.*Employees who smoke next to the door.* Customer service employees who talk to their fellow workers while you are trying to give them your order. If you don't think this takes place, just go to McD's!!!!*Drive thru speakers that are out of order and all you hear is "spt rk ft nt…." and the workers know it!*Restaurant employees who wear plastic gloves to cook the food, and then to take out the trash and to sweep the floor and to go outside and smoke. If you don't think this happens, just stand back and watch the food preparers come out from behind the counter!*Unfortunate children who have biological parents who don't take care of them. These so-called adults just think about their selves! It's always about what they want and what they can do and when they can do it.Okay, I am going to get down now. Whew, that was a big step off of my soapbox.
I'm with you on all those too! The list could go on and on and on…
Sorry Thad, now that I know you are not looking for a date, I will start acknowledging you in the hallways.That's a pretty good list. I would have to add in some other driving habits though, like MERGING. Ya know, no one is asking you to build a Saturn Five Rocket Motor, its simply moving your vehicle to the left or the right approx 15'. You would think that as much as people like to speed, this would not be a time that they would take their foot completely off the gas and then stare in awe as they run out of room in the 1/2 mile long running lane. Anyway……..
Wow. I could have written your list almost word for word. Especially the first 6! I'll add a few of my own for my own enjoyment.People that send me an email then immediately call me to tell me that they sent me an email. Turn signals in vehicles – use them! They are not just for decoration or flair.Red light runners and those that end up in the middle of an intersection when my light turns green. Yes,I'd love to ram my car into theirs but I'm not entirely sure I'd have witnesses to speak on my behalf so instead I will honk my horn until they move. And yes I realize how annoying that is to others but it makes me giggle. Cashiers that give me the stink eye when I present a handful of coupons for my grocery bill. Yes, I realize that you must scan them individually but that's what you are paid to do just as I'm paid to read emails all day.
I have two to add. (Actually I have several to add, but two that drive me particularly insane.) I hate it when you know a lane is ending and you move over to the one that will continue to your destination, then traffic backs up because it's a busy time of day. Well there are always some idiots who will refuse to get in that lane and instead will drive as far as they can to get ahead of the rest of us rule followers, flip the blinker on and attempt to cut me off. FYI I would rather fill out an accident report than let them in. Not gonna happen. Seriously….wave at me….smile at me….turn around and look at me…flip me off… i don't care. Unless you have a valid emergency which you can verify to me by holding up a severed limb..or have your wife open the car door so I can see if the baby is crowning. I am NOT LETTING YOU IN!Also – it would be great if the lady at the gas station wouldn't lick her fingers before she counts out my change. The sad part is that I think she thinks im mentally deficient because the first time this happened to me I was too disgusted to speak. I stood there and stared at her for a few moments while she tried to hand me my change then ran away. the next time i asked her if she could put my change in a plastic bag.Now she talks really slowly to me when i come in.
Nicky, I have two things to say. First…I couldn't agree more on both counts. Second..,Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!