Have you held the door open for a lady walking into a restaurant?
Maybe given a child a quarter to get a piece of gum from the gum-ball machine?
Or, perhaps you have slowed down considerably to keep from hitting that squirrel who can’t decide which way to go to get out of the way of your car?
If so, then I have good, no, GREAT news!
You have an excellent chance at winning the Nobel Peace Prize!
You might ask, “What are the qualifications?”
To which I would answer, “Apparently, there are no qualifications.” Or, “Pretty much the same as the qualifications to be the President of the United States.”
Heck, at least Jimmy Carter built a bunch of houses for people. Mr. Obama…well…he…umm…organized his community! That’s it! He organized his community, drank a beer with a cop, and smoked lots of cigarettes! Other than these things, his most notable accomplishments have been unsuccessfully, thus far, trying to ramrod a ridiculous, government run health care plan through congress, traveling around the world apologizing for the United States being the best, most benevolent country on the planet, and calling for a college football playoff. Oh, and did I mention that he drank a beer with a cop?
The Nobel Prize, for whatever credibility it had left after awarding the prize to such notables as the aforementioned Jimmy Carter and the inventor of the internet, Al Gore, is now without any credibility at all. President Obama has done absolutely nothing other than spew a bunch of hot air into the atmosphere, which should anger all of his “green” friends. He is nothing more than a celebrity who was banking on his personality and likability to convince such despots as Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Hugo Chavez to stop doing bad things. “Hello, may I speak to Mahmoud? Mahmoud, how are you? It’s Barack. Obama. Barack Obama, the President of the United States? Yeah, hey. Look, I just wanted to call and ask you if you would mind not doing all the bad stuff you’ve been doing. I’m a pretty well-connected guy and can get you tickets to a Springsteen concert if you promise to not shoot Israel with some sort of really powerful bomb. Sweet! Thanks! I can trust you, right? I’m just kidding, I know you’re a stand-up guy. Tell the Ayatollah I said wassup! Right, O-B-A-M-A. My middle name is Hussein. Yeah! I knew you’d like that! Have a good one. Bye.”
I have several baseball and football trophies from when I was a kid that I’m going to give away as awards and I’m going to call them the Hanky Prizes. I’m going to give them to some of my friends who’ve done nice things for me over the years. I know they’ll be excited! After all, now I can say that the Hanky Prize has every bit as much prestige as the Nobel Prize!