Who Wants a Trophy?

Have you held the door open for a lady walking into a restaurant?

Maybe given a child a quarter to get a piece of gum from the gum-ball machine?

Or, perhaps you have slowed down considerably to keep from hitting that squirrel who can’t decide which way to go to get out of the way of your car?

If so, then I have good, no, GREAT news!

You have an excellent chance at winning the Nobel Peace Prize!

You might ask, “What are the qualifications?”

To which I would answer, “Apparently, there are no qualifications.” Or, “Pretty much the same as the qualifications to be the President of the United States.”

Heck, at least Jimmy Carter built a bunch of houses for people. Mr. Obama…well…he…umm…organized his community! That’s it! He organized  his community, drank a beer with a cop, and smoked lots of cigarettes! Other than these things, his most notable accomplishments have been unsuccessfully, thus far, trying to ramrod a ridiculous, government run health care plan through congress, traveling around the world apologizing for the United States being the best, most benevolent country on the planet, and calling for a college football playoff. Oh, and did I mention that he drank a beer with a cop?

The Nobel Prize, for whatever credibility it had left after awarding the prize to such notables as the aforementioned Jimmy Carter and the inventor of the internet, Al Gore, is now without any credibility at all. President Obama has done absolutely nothing other than spew a bunch of hot air into the atmosphere, which should anger all of his “green” friends. He is nothing more than a celebrity who was banking on his personality and likability to convince such despots as Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Hugo Chavez to stop doing bad things. “Hello, may I speak to Mahmoud? Mahmoud, how are you? It’s Barack. Obama. Barack Obama, the President of the United States? Yeah, hey. Look, I just wanted to call and ask you if you would mind not doing all the bad stuff  you’ve been doing. I’m a pretty well-connected guy and can get you tickets to a Springsteen concert if you promise to not shoot Israel with some sort of really powerful bomb. Sweet! Thanks! I can trust you, right? I’m just kidding, I know you’re a stand-up guy. Tell the Ayatollah I said wassup! Right, O-B-A-M-A. My middle name is Hussein. Yeah!  I knew you’d like that! Have a good one. Bye.”

I have several baseball and football trophies from when I was a kid that I’m going to give away as awards and I’m going to call them the Hanky Prizes. I’m going to give them to some of my friends who’ve done nice things for me over the years. I know they’ll be excited! After all, now I can say that the Hanky Prize has every bit as much prestige as the Nobel Prize!

9 thoughts on “Who Wants a Trophy?

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  1. You know Obama went on his European bash America tour and now he can't figure out why the IOC didn't award the Olympics to Chicago. Maybe it was because they believed the nine months worth of crap he fed them about what a horrible, mean, arrogant, selfish country we are as opposed to the four hour speech he gave touting our country's greatness and asking for the games. Just a thought.

  2. Did I miss something? Obama wasn't out campaigning for this award. He was as shocked as the rest of the world. He shouldn't be condemed for the choice that the Norwegian Nobel Committee. The attack should be put out to them, not the White House. I saw the President's response to this on a Special Report break-in on ABC this morning and he wasn't in any way saying he campaigned, needed or deserved this award. Here is a excerpt from that press conference:"I am both surprised and deeply humbled by the decision of the Nobel Committee," Obama said."Let me be clear, I do not view it as a recognition of my own accomplishments, but rather as an affirmation of American leadership on behalf of aspirations held by people in all nations."Obama said he was aware that "throughout history, the Nobel Peace Prize has not just been used to honor specific achievement, it's also been used as a means to give momentum to a set of causes."The award took the Obama and his staff by surprise. Press secretary Robert Gibbs learned from reporters that Obama had won the 2009 prize, and telephoned the White House early Friday to pass along the news to his boss."Well, this is not how I expected to wake up this morning," Obama said. He described his interaction with his two daughters."After I received the news, Malia walked in and said, 'Daddy, you won the Nobel Peace Prize, and it is Bo's birthday.' And then Sasha added, 'Plus, we have a three-day weekend coming up.' So it's — it's good to have kids to keep things in perspective."

  3. As soon as he watches a football game, he will win the Heisman trophy,as soon as he watches a movie, he will win an Oscar,as soon as he watches a television show, he will win a Emmy.Don't we live in a great country.

  4. Hey Thad, I asked you how you were at WES Fest, can I get a Hanky Prize???? I also volunteered and spray-painted kids' hair for three tickets, that is a worthy cause right? AND I too drink beer with cops (off duty of course) AND smoke cigarettes. I am a prime candidate. Sooooo….when the awards dinner?

  5. Jennifer…I almost turned around to ask you where you had been. You have been conspicuously absent from here lately!You are even more qualified to be the president than the president!You get a Hanky! We need to have a Hanky Awards dinner.

  6. Wow! I didn't know you were giving away awards for saying you were good and upstanding. Smith said, I want world peace, a balanced budget, a healthy economy, and love throughout the world." Now I want my award too!

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