Ok…This is Awkward

By: Thad Hankins

I was at a family reunion yesterday for my wife’s family. Maybe forty or fifty people give or take a few. In the South, someone is always asked to say a blessing before eating. There was some discussion as to who it would be and when it was finally decided upon, my brother-in-law, Brad, began to pray. About five seconds into the prayer, some unfortunate soul decided that was the time to walk into the house through the front door. If you’ve never been the person who walks unaware into the midst of a group of hungry, praying southerners, all the while continuing the conversation you had started with someone outside, prior to the blessing, well, you don’t want to be. Trust me on this. I’ve been there. The voice that in reality may be only slightly louder than you might talk to someone in a library, becomes a scream in such a situation. Which got me to thinking about other embarrassing moments. Such as…

Waving at someone whom you think is waving at you, when they are actually waving at someone behind you. It can be tough turning a full-fledged wave into a stretch or a move to fix your hair. I never know how to react when this happens to me, regardless of whether I’m the waver or the faked-out wavee. If I’m the waver, I kind of want both people to think I was waving at them even if I’ve never met the guy I wasn’t waving at. If I’m the guy who waved incorrectly, I want to act like there is someone I’m waving at behind the guy who waved at the guy behind me. Whew. Turn the old tables on him!

This one may be unique to working in a phone store, but…answering a question that you think someone is asking you when they are actually asking someone on a bluetooth, wireless earpiece. I usually say out loud, “Well, I’m an idiot. You weren’t talking to me.” Luckily, they don’t hear that because they are so engrossed in the real conversation.

Then, there’s the time I extended my right hand to shake hands with a man who had no right hand. Awkward! The bad thing about that is I knew him, his name was Jim, and I was aware he didn’t have a right hand and I did it anyway. He kind of chuckled and grabbed my right hand with his left hand and that always feels really weird. Stupid me.

By the way, is it ever okay to shake someone’s hand as they are exiting the bathroom? Or worse, they have just turned around from doing their business and haven’t even made it to the sink to wash their hands yet? I have a friend who was at church one Sunday and had just finished his business at the urinal and turned around to head to the sink. He swears a guy said, “Hey Jojo(not his real name). How are you?” And reached out to shake his hand. My friend shook his hand. Gross.

Speaking of church, a friend and I once went to a revival service at his church which started at 7:00 p.m. We walked in while the congregation was singing and sat down about halfway to the front with some friends of ours. They finished the song and then the pastor called on someone to CLOSE the service in prayer and we left. Three minutes, tops. Apparently, church started at 6:00 p.m. I wondered why everyone was looking at us so funny.

And, of course, the old I’m walking along, I almost trip over an invisible rope, now I must jog for ten feet and look back to try and see the invisible guys who were holding the invisible rope.

I know this is sort of a pointless post but things have been kind of heavy here lately so I thought I’d try to lighten things up a bit. Ain’t life fun?!? Tell me some of your most embarrassing moments in the comments section below. Or, just laugh at me and say nothing, which is what most of you will do(minus the laughing, I suspect). Oh, and if anyone knows Steve Calloway, ask him about the time he and I were at McDonald’s one Sunday night after church and he ignored the elderly ladies who were trying to talk to him. He’ll know what you mean!

11 thoughts on “Ok…This is Awkward

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  1. You asked for people to share and I swear this just happened lastnight. I was in Wal-Mart near the sandwich meat area and looked up and was pretty sure I saw a girl I hung around with alot in highschool but haven't seen in a while. I was going to do the ol' pretend to run into you with the buggy thing and she turned around and said oh "Excuse me" Like she thought she was in my way. Ofcourse, when she spoke, I realized I didn't know her at all. Even though she had no idea what I had done, I wanted to crawl under something. Oh well, guess I won't do that one again.

  2. That is hilarious! I did something similar in Gayfers once. Yeah, I know, been a while ago. Saw a guy I used to work with and said the really friendly, "Hey man, how are you doing? Are you still at MAX?" He said he never worked at MAX. Times like that are when it would be great to be able to instantaneously turn invisible! Thanks for sharing!

  3. Lol…the church situation! I had forgotten about that one! I don't think a chameleon could turn as many shades as we all were!As for other humiliating circumstances: Imagine getting into your Yukon, setting your bottled water in the cupholder beside a SIPPY CUP and getting frustrated because your key doesn't work…all the while never taking note that your seats are no longer leather and that you haven't owned a baby carseat in 10 yrs. As I looked at my key ring searching for another key, the reality of what I had done sunk in…another teacher at my school has the SAME IDENTICAL vehicle! I grabbed up my purse and water and quickly opened the door and hopped out and to my embarrassment came face to face with the real owner who had been standing there all along laughing and wondering how long it was going to take me to figure it out. (Blush) One of my more humiliating blonde moments. :D~Aimes

  4. My single most embarrassing moment happened during a board meeting. I got a run in my stockings before the meeting and had to go get some from the convenience store. All they had available were some inexpensive black thigh-high stockings. Now, I am not a skinny girl and at some point the elastic in those stocking decided it was time to give up the fight. As I was walking around a room full of 120 board members giving my presentation, they began to roll down my legs. I did not even notice until several people pointed to my legs. I looked down and there at my knees, clearly visible to all, were what appeared to be two large black doughnuts perched directly above my calves. In that situation you can not just reach down and unroll your pantyhose and yank them back up… so I had to continue. For 10 more mins with little inner tubes around my knees.

  5. HAHAHA! Anonymous, that is the best one yet! Too funny! Wish you'd have put your name on it!Amy…Glad you remember that. I will never forget it!

  6. I saw a guy that I used to be around a lot a few years ago. I knew he was enagaged so I asked when the wedding was. He said "UMMMMM we're not getting married anymore." Quickly trying to change the subject I said "How's work going?" He said, "They fired me." I sat stunned for a second and said "OK good talkin to ya." …………………Kevin

  7. Good one Nicky!I had a guy ask me at church, "How's that pretty wife of yours?" I said, "Chuck, she left me a month ago." I would say that would have been one of Chuck's most awkward moments but I'm not sure he was smart enough to realize it.

  8. I have really had a great laugh at the blog and all the other great stories!! 🙂 I need to dig into the vault because I'm sure I have a few stories buried in there. Thanks for giving me such a good laugh tonight. I needed it!

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