A Short Gracie Story From Last Evening


Those who know me, know that I am a bit of a germ hater. I keep anti-bacterial hand sanitizer with me at all times. You never know when some opportunistic bacteria might decide to take up residence on your fingers.

Anyway, last night Gracie did a big-job in the pull-up that she wears for bed. When she was done and ready for me to take care of said big-job, I set out on a quest to find baby-wipes. This task turned out to be much more difficult than I anticipated, so I offered a reward to Gabe or Gracie if they found the wipes.

After a couple of minutes, Gabe gave up. Ben-10 was on TV. One has to have their priorities in order. Gracie then walked out of the bathroom with…A WIPE! “Good job!” I said to her as she then proceeded to wipe the counter and then the toilet seat with the wipe. I quickly scanned the bathroom and was unable to see the package of wipes that she had gotten this one out of.

“Where did you get that?” I said to her as she continued to clean the bathroom. She didn’t answer and then I realized that she had found a lone wipe that had been left out and was dried up. She had apparently put it under the faucet in the sink, or lavatory as my dad would say, and wet it herself. “How enterprising!” I thought. It was at that moment that I realized that she is not tall enough to reach the faucet to turn the water on.

(Insert horror movie soundtrack here)

Terror gripped me as I asked the next question. “How did you get that wipe wet?” “In the potty” she said matter-of-factly, as if to communicate to me, “Where do you think I got it wet? Duh.” As our conversation continued she then decided, for the first time in her young life, that this would be a good time for her to clean her arms and commenced with wiping down both arms with the toilet-contaminated wipe.

As much as I wanted to act as if I had seen nothing and wait for Gigi to get back from the Winn and Dixie, I took the wipe from her hand and flushed it down the toilet from whence it came. I got the water in the sink as hot as I could without burning her and we took an emergency bath right there in the lavatory that would have made Karen Silkwood proud. Disaster averted.

I feel quite confident that I adapted quickly to this crisis situation and overcame it with calm but decisive action. I did, however, wait for Gigi to get home and allowed her to clean up the big-job. Handling such hazardous material after being exposed to toilet water was just too much for one man to handle in one day. That, and my Hazmat suit was at the cleaners.

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9 thoughts on “A Short Gracie Story From Last Evening

  1. *gasp* You better take that back, you jerk. Gabe isn’t a sissy. You’re the sissy for making an anonymous comment. That’s right, hide behide the confindes of your computer!~Austin J.~

  2. Austin…Thanks for looking out for Gabe, but that is actually my sister Nancy, who we call Sissy. She wasn’t calling Gabe a sissy. Just FYI! Thanks for reading dude!!!

  3. Thad, I just got around to reading this, and believe me, I am LAUGHING!!! I guess you may not want to hear some of the stories of the daytime antics that go on at Miss Blenda’s with 4 little ones here everyday, lol!! By the way, we had to take baths today b/c she decided to tinkle on the middle of the floor right in front of the potty instead of jumping up there- yes I will be disinfecting the rug, haha. She definately does not have a germaphobe in her, not yet anyway, I am still trying to break the BAD habit of biting nails- YUCK, you know I have a nail clipping fettish, which goes along with some form of germy fear. No telling what likes to hide under those things, and then kids want to chew them, ugh!! Have a great day, that was a priceless story!!

  4. How funny! Well, at least you didn’t throw up. 😉 My ex used to literally throw up if he had to clean a poopy diaper. sigh. Speaking of fingernails… I’m not a germ-a-phobe but I KNOW what lurks. lol I have new clients look at me like I’ve lost my mind when I tell them to go wash first.Everyone washes first, as well as myself.(sing the “happy birthday” song while lathering to know they are clean) Just plain soap and water, thank you. psst, it kills 99% of the bacteria all by itself. FYI, the overuse of anti-bacterial hand sanitizer and soap leads to creating kinda “super bugs”. lol It’s that 1% that it doesn’t kill…. Why do you think there is MRSA and other “super bugs” in hospitals so much? My pet peeve though is people who do not wash their hands after using the restroom. That really really turns my stomach. You wouldn’t believe the people, even grocery store workers, who do this! ewww. Ok, now that I have you vowing to NEVER leave the house, I’ll stop. 😉 sorry. Genie

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