Those who know me, know that I am a bit of a germ hater. I keep anti-bacterial hand sanitizer with me at all times. You never know when some opportunistic bacteria might decide to take up residence on your fingers.
Anyway, last night Gracie did a big-job in the pull-up that she wears for bed. When she was done and ready for me to take care of said big-job, I set out on a quest to find baby-wipes. This task turned out to be much more difficult than I anticipated, so I offered a reward to Gabe or Gracie if they found the wipes.
After a couple of minutes, Gabe gave up. Ben-10 was on TV. One has to have their priorities in order. Gracie then walked out of the bathroom with…A WIPE! “Good job!” I said to her as she then proceeded to wipe the counter and then the toilet seat with the wipe. I quickly scanned the bathroom and was unable to see the package of wipes that she had gotten this one out of.
“Where did you get that?” I said to her as she continued to clean the bathroom. She didn’t answer and then I realized that she had found a lone wipe that had been left out and was dried up. She had apparently put it under the faucet in the sink, or lavatory as my dad would say, and wet it herself. “How enterprising!” I thought. It was at that moment that I realized that she is not tall enough to reach the faucet to turn the water on.
(Insert horror movie soundtrack here)
Terror gripped me as I asked the next question. “How did you get that wipe wet?” “In the potty” she said matter-of-factly, as if to communicate to me, “Where do you think I got it wet? Duh.” As our conversation continued she then decided, for the first time in her young life, that this would be a good time for her to clean her arms and commenced with wiping down both arms with the toilet-contaminated wipe.
As much as I wanted to act as if I had seen nothing and wait for Gigi to get back from the Winn and Dixie, I took the wipe from her hand and flushed it down the toilet from whence it came. I got the water in the sink as hot as I could without burning her and we took an emergency bath right there in the lavatory that would have made Karen Silkwood proud. Disaster averted.
I feel quite confident that I adapted quickly to this crisis situation and overcame it with calm but decisive action. I did, however, wait for Gigi to get home and allowed her to clean up the big-job. Handling such hazardous material after being exposed to toilet water was just too much for one man to handle in one day. That, and my Hazmat suit was at the cleaners.